Pluie, Pluie. Partez S'il Vous Plaît.

Ulan.

Anong meron sa ulan at napapaisip ka … bigla ka lang malulungkot. O ‘di kaya’y, bigla ka lang masasaktan.

Ano ang meron sa ulan at napapaalala ka niya ng mga bagay na pilit mong kinakalimutan?

Ano ang meron sa kanya at parang gusto mong sumabay
… na umiyak.
… na malaglag na lang hanggang malakas mong matamaan ang lupa.
… na mag-ingay sa kalaliman ng iyong puso at isipan.

Ano ang meron sa ulan at napatext ako nang biglaan sa mga taong malapit sa akin?

Nakakatamad gumalaw …
Nakakatamad maligo’t magpaginaw.
Nakakatamad mag-isip.
Nakakatamad rumamdam.

Ayoko nang masaktan.

“Nandito lang Ako, anak.
Tutulungan kitang gumalaw nang hindi ka giniginaw.
Papakinggan ko ang mga iniisip at ang mga nararamdaman mo.
Hindi kita sasaktan.”

Ano ang meron sa ulan at nagiging mapayapa ang kalooban mo?
… kahit na nalungkot ka
… kahit na nasktan ka
… kahit na napapaisip ka
… patuloy ka pa ring nagmamahal at nagtitiwala.

May ulan dahil kailangan natin.
Pinapayagan ng Panginoon na umulan para mas kaya nating ikaligaya ang araw.
Ganun din sa araw – may araw, para matutunan nating ikaligaya ang ulan.

Kung walang ulan, walang bahaghari.

Salamat, Panginoon. Salamat sa ulan.

"My Advice to Her"

Teach yourself to let go and stop expecting him to meet you halfway 'cause he will if he wants to. And he will if he knows how to. Don't bend backwards just to reach him when he deliberately puts a wall between the both of you. Let him learn how to break those walls in time. If he won't, then you don't deserve that. You're better off investing your time and emotions to someone who can nurture you back.

She and I

July 23, 2008
2:29am
Room 218, Yakal Residence Hall

Why does she trust people so easily?

Why does she trust them with her thoughts, with her ideas, with her secrets … with her emotions?

Why can’t people mind their own business sometimes? Just when she thought things were already working out well … then it turns out to be just the beginning of her road to her doom. And it’s all because of people who can’t mind their own business sometimes.

They think they know, but they don’t.

Stress, hormones and struggles with one’s personal quiet times is not a good combination for a female human being. She becomes irritable, emotional, and irrational. Suddenly, people become so insensitive … it’s like everyone’s trying to purposely annoy her or make her drown in self-pity as they see her desperate and unreasonable … and overly sensitive?

But what if it wasn’t the hormones or the stress? What if people really WERE insensitive? What if people did see her as pathetically desperate and overly sensitive?

We all have little adjustments to do. For most women, controlling of emotions is one heck of a struggle. So, guys, please understand. We are doing our best to control these emotions. At least appreciate our efforts by stretching a bit of your patience and tact. Geez. Grow up.

They think they understand, but they don’t.

She doesn’t know how she feels now. Irritated? Definitely not angry. Angry is just too strong and harsh for an emotion. Disappointed, perhaps, by how her some trusted people can fail her at times when she needed them the most.

They think everything’s fine, but it’s not.

She thinks of others all the time. She cares about how they are, what they want, who they want to be with … She just likes being, as what the yellow book would describe her, self-sacrificing, especially if it involves her friends.

But, sometimes, it just hurts. And suddenly, she realized how unfair she has been to herself. And she begins to sulk and drown in self-pity as others don’t really care … or should she say, they haven’t really sensed her self-pity – or even her self-sacrifice – ever since?

And she drowns in self-pity over and over again …

Am I pathetic? Am I alone?

You think you are, my child … but you’re not.